August 21, 2014

Hai

Sebagai pengangguran, gue makin merhatiin hal-hal sepele dan makin overthink. Dan cynical. Okay, the thing is, postingan ini sering berseliweran di Path,


dan gue gemes banget bacanya. So, here, I present you my words.

Gue dan Raka lahir dalam kondisi ekonomi keluarga yang jauh berbeda. Look at us: Raka pinter, kepalanya besar-naon?-, akhlaknya baik, penyayang; nah, gue? :')) Mau gimana juga resultnya akan beda antara anak yang dikasih makan salmon sama anak yang dikasih makan tempe. Okay, kecerdasan anak nggak sekonyong-konyong ditentuin sama gizi, tapi orang tua mana sih yang nggak pengin kasih yang terbaik untuk anaknya? Siapa coba yang nggak pengin beliin anaknya buku cerita pop up atau Lego Star Wars atau set PlayDoh burger maker? It even hurts me as an unemployed sister whenever Raka wants a story book I myself can't afford. 
Okay, I get your point, ada yang namanya rejeki anak atau whatsoever rejeki pernikahan, tapi mbok ya be well-prepared sedikit sebelum nikahin anak orang. I'm not blaming my parents or jealous of Raka's life, tapi gue sendiri nggak tega kalo liat Raka sakit. Kalo lo punya anak dan, amit-amit, dikasih cobaan, mau bayar dokter pake makasih? Raka sendiri waktu bayi berkali-kali diimunisasi, I told myself ever since that I should be able to afford those for my own kids. Calon istri mungkin siap diajak susah, tapi anak lo? Siapa yang tau lo bakal dikasih titipan Tuhan kapan.

Mwah,
R.

July 28, 2014

Ob·nox·ious

I was on my way home when this thought struck my mind: I will die alone.

I grow up as a grumpy asshole. I gladly spit my words on one's face when I don't like what they say or do. While, you know, some people just don't appreciate honesty.

Sometimes I think that it's in my blood. The anger. The hatred. I can be a warmhearted and loving person at one time, but mostly I'm an asshole who can kick a kid's butt just because his face annoys me. Sometimes I intentionally do something to hurt somebody. Suffer, get hurt. It doesn't entertain me, but I don't regret it either. Demon possesses me, rite?

I lost some friends. No, basically I just had a few human who I considered as friends, and now I lost some of them. Technically, I unattached myself from them.

But, still, there are some who will never leave, or at least I hope-really, really hope-they won't.
You won't, will you?

June 28, 2014

Bye, Ciseke!


This is where I lived for four years in Jatinangor. Iya, gue nggak pernah pindah kosan sejak jaman maba, because I was madly in love with this place. Luas, ada dapur dan kulkas, dan nggak jauh dari mana-mana. Satu bangunan terdiri dari dua lantai dengan 12 kamar. Kamar gue paling ujung, nomor 12; Hulk kesayangan gue ada di kamar 10, sementara Wikan di kamar 11. Can't imagine it? I've got this picture for you.

Kasian kan, Wikan :(
Si Hulk juga nggak pernah pindah dari jaman maba, mungkin itu salah satu alasan kenapa gue juga nggak pernah pindah. [Biarlah si mahasiswi teladan tapi beringas ini kita samarkan saja namanya jadi Hulk.] Hampir tiap malam, kalo nggak ada kuliah pagi atau nggak ada tugas, gue ke kamar si Hulk. Nggak sembarangan orang bisa masuk kamarnya, doi butuh kode dalam parseltongue sebelum bukain pintu.

That's how I always sleep: kepala di bagian bawah tempat tidur dan kaki di atas.
Maybe I'm afraid of a Boogeyman.
There used to be more pictures hanging there. Sadly, nggak ada foto Hulk.
Satu hal yang bikin ilfeel tentang kosan manis ini adalah harganya yang naik terus. Dikira Alek eek bulir-bulir kristal kali. Eh, Alek udah nggak ada deng.

I had a shoe rack, but it was just too far from the door.
Double trouble:
sebagian buku dan DVD yang bikin kewalahan pas packing.
A naked watch. Plus Sulley.
Jadi kalo dipikir-pikir lagi, dengan duit segitu banyak gue udah bisa dapet tempat yang lebih bagus dengan fasilitas yang lebih baik. Disini air panas nggak ada, internet sama laundry bayar lagi, yang punya rese.. Oops.


Sekarang saya sudah enyah dari kosan ini. Sedih. Sebenernya yang bikin sedih sih the fact that I won't live near to Hulk anymore. Siapa dong yang nanti nemenin memadamkan serangan lapar tengah malam, atau ngusirin cicak, atau pelarian kalo mati lampu. Ah, Hulk.


Jadi sebenernya ini postingan tentang persahabatan manusia dan Hulk, bukan mini tour. Biarpun makannya banyak, dia calon cum laude. Anak kesayangan Ayah. Kesayangan Jamie Foxx juga. Dadah, Ciseke. Dadah, Hulk.

June 19, 2014

Medusa

Gue punya surat rujukan pemeriksaan ultrasonography tertanggal hari ini, 19 Juni. Surat seharga 260.000,- plus bonus grepe-grepe dari si dokter. Bukan, USG bukan buat periksa kehamilan doang.

Seharusnya detik ini gue lagi ada di salah satu rumah sakit tua di Bandung, sama seperti tanggal 10 kemarin. Gue sering bolak-balik ke rumah sakit di Jakarta, but they don't smell like an hospital. Nah, yang di Bandung ini, baunya bau rumah sakit. Baru masuk aja rasanya udah mau nangis.

Waktu itu gue dianter Intan. Intan tau gue mules-mules senewen pas masuk ruang periksa. Intan tau dokternya bilang apa. Hopefully she knows, too, how thankful I am for being her friend.

If you wonder why I'm, today, still hiding under my blanket and waiting for my Dota update finish instead of checking my health up, well, since three members of my big family got this abnormal cell growth, kemungkinan gue bersih sangat kecil.

Terlepas dari sakit atau enggak, gue bersyukur bisa dapet "warning" ini. Seorang teman cerita kalo dia sedemikian penginnya kurus, sampai-sampai tiap malam nangis ngeliatin fotonya Cara Delevingne. (Do me favor, gimme that "puhleeease" face). I, too, cried at night, tapi untuk sehat. Untuk normal tanpa punya chance 4x lipat lebih banyak untuk kena penyakit ini.

Biasanya setiap di Jakarta gue selalu sibuk ke SpKK buat benerin rambut yang rontok melulu, sekarang gue bersyukur masih punya rambut *tertawa pedih*

Mari saling mendoakan. Gue masih mau sehat, mau liat Raka dipanggil Dr. Raka. Mau belajar masak yang enak untuk Jujus (well, that's going to take a looong time). Mau liat anak-anaknya Santa, Intan, Jundi panggil gue Onty Ange. Mau ngajak jalan-jalan Mamak Aya pake uang sendiri, mau doain mereka sehat & bahagia terus. Mau bantuin bayar S2-nya Dinda.

Udah ah, sedih. Bye.

Oh, dan harusnya di tanggal 19 ini gue daftar sidang. Tapi, gara-gara Medusa yang ada di gedung A...... ah sudahlah.

May 30, 2014

Day 761

You make a loner prefer not to be alone.

February 14, 2014

Frank & Frank

Meet my favourite Franks!


The man who introduced Sinatra to me was the man who introduced Chelsea as well.

He loved to hum Sinatra's songs. He always loved to hum, anyway, especially in the shower. When his cassettes aged and no longer sounded the way it should, my mother decided to buy him CDs and I lent him my CD player. Mama bought him Sinatra's My Way album and Matt Monroe's Born Free greatest hits. He loved them, of course. So did I.

When we watched football matches, he wasn't the one who yelled keep the blue flag flying high. He was the rival instead. The red one. Strangely, though I adored him beyond everything, I wasn't affected to be in love with his favourite team. I found the blue one was more attractive. Especially their co-captain.

Frank & Frank are legends. So are you, Eyang.