Saturday, November 26, 2011

I Don't Know what I Wrote. I'm in My Period.

Quoted from Norah's graduation speech on The Beaver (2011):
Good afternoon, graduates, dead poets, painters, future Einsteins, and all those in between. Today I'm here to warn you that you are being lied to. Our parents, our teachers, our doctors have lied to us. And it's the exact same lie. The same six words, "Everything is going to be okay."
But what if it isn't?
What if some of human experience is just something you inherit, like curly hair or blue eyes? What if pain is just in your DNA and tragedy is your birthright? Or what if sometimes right out of the blue, when you least expect it, shit just happens?
Shit does happen. Every day. It depends on you whether you want to pass it by or keep thinking about it then get frustrated then start to think that everything around you is nothing but bullshit.
[Okay, I'm sure, right now, you're all thinking, "Man, this is the darkest graduation speech I've ever heard." And it is. I agree with you, but I didn't write it. I've spent so much time waiting for this lie to come true that I finally paid someone to tell the truth for me.]
I'm not okay. Not at all.
The truth is, I'm missing something, the thing I loved the most, the face I wish were in the front row right now. The brother I'll never get back.
They say that people come and go but the memory stands still. That's the problem. The truth is, a beautiful memory is a small and deep hole. It seems like it will not hurt you; but once you step on it, you will fall so deep and stick in it. When you're trying to pull yourself out, well, you'd better not, it will be extremely hurt.
So what do I do with that? What do any of us do, besides lie?
People lie. Cheat. Run from your life. But if you ask, "Why do people change into someone they said they'd never be?" let me tell you the answer.
Shit happens to them. They want to protect themselves in order to avoid the shit itself.

People let you down. Leave. Then you get hurt. My mom once told me, if a person disappoints you and it hurts you so bad, it's because you love that person very much.
Go blame yourself for loving them.

And here's what a wise man said, "Rejection doesn't hurt, expectation does."
Go blame yourself for expecting too much.
This is what I believe.
Right now, there is someone who is with you. Someone who is willing to pick you up, dust you off, kiss you, forgive you, put up with you, wait for you, carry you, love you.
So, while everything may not always be okay, one thing I know is true. You do not have to be alone.
That's true.. theoretically.

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Si Ange waktu SD: "..tapi si ini punya! Si itu juga. Anggie nggak punya. Beliin dong, Ma."
Mamake: "Jangan ngeliat ke atas terus, liat ke bawah sekali-kali. Masih banyak yang nggak bisa makan hari ini.."
Si Ange waktu SD: "Berarti Anggie nggak usah belajar rajin-rajin ya, kan masih banyak yang nilainya lebih jelek hahahahaha."
Semoga gue nggak punya anak seperti si Ange. Terima kasih untuk selalu sabar, Maaak :*

Sebenernya gue nulis ini karna pas ngelap-ngelap kostan tadi gue inget Mama. Dulu gue sering gangguin bantuin Mama kalo beliau lagi beresin rumah di hari Minggu. Biasanya Mama pake celana pendek, rambut dicepol, lalu nyalain radio; sesekali nyanyi sambil ngelap lampu gantung.
Well, your health and happiness are my everything, Ma.

Monday, November 14, 2011

"You deserve an award for the role that you play."
-Madonna

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Lovember

Marry Your Daughter - Brian McKnight
See in this box is a ring for your oldest.. I'm gonna marry your princess and make her my queen.

Another Rainy Day - Corinne Bailey Rae
Another rainy day, we sat inside by the radiator watching old white black film..

Love Me Tender - Norah Jones
Love me tender, love me dear, tell me you are mine.

So Close - John McLaughlin
Now you're beside me, and look how far we've come. So far we are so close.

If there's a question popping inside your head right after you read the list above, I'm gonna tell you the answer:
Yes, I am.

Love,
Anggie.

Postingan yang Lama Hilang

Esok saat ragamu letih dan menua, saat kau tak sanggup lagi menggendongku dengan penuh tawa seperti hari kemarin, aku ingin tetap di sisimu. Merawatmu. Membuatkan teh hangat yang akan kita nikmati bersama seraya menatap perginya senja.
Aku ingin merawatmu dengan sepenuh hati, seolah-olah setiap hari adalah hari pertama kita saling jatuh cinta. Mengecup kepalamu yang mulai dipenuhi warna kelabu, saling menggenggam tangan satu sama lain, dan mengingatkan tanggal hari ini atau hal kecil lainnya yang mulai sulit kita ingat.
Hingga suatu hari jika kau terlalu sulit untuk mengucapkannya, aku tahu, kau selalu menyayangiku.
Namun sebelum semua itu terjadi, aku ingin memberimu anak-anak yang berbakti, agar mereka bisa menjagamu dengan baik jika aku harus pergi mendahuluimu.
Dan suatu hari jika kau terlalu sulit untuk mendengarnya, kau harus tahu, aku selalu menyayangimu.

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Before the Rise of the Sun

They call me Jingga.
There is indescribable beauty when you see me walk.
I run like the wind.
Fast, but soft;
like a fingertip of a lover that touch your cheek gently.

He called me Jingga.
I came toward him while the moon kept watching over me.
He looked fine, as always.
Just one lovely curve on his kissable lips
and I'd be his all night long.

He called me Jingga
and put his palm gently on me.
I'd promised myself not to go anywhere. I'd told myself to stay.
But the look in his eyes made me beg him,
'Take me wherever you'll go.'

The saddle was put on.
Two creatures became one;
then walked slowly on the side of the meadow.
We both saw the reflection of us on the lake
made by the moonlight.

As the cold breeze blew
and bothered the silence of the branches,
he called me, 'Jingga.'

'It's Sunday already,'
Pause.
'we've been together for two days,' then chuckled.
If I could say anything once in my life..

He called me Jingga
and thanked me for the walk.
The dawn was coming,
I saw myself on the sky,
and the moon disappeared.
So did he.
So did the euphoria of mine.

Lots of Love,
A.