So it is just another night in August, only louder. In this kind-of-night, my parents and Raka go somewhere to take their ordered tutupat (re: ketupat, that's how Raka says it). Funny, when they're gone, some neighbors ring the bell and bring many many much tutupat enough for two days.
And all of a sudden I feel like being Kevin McCallister.
I have two unread books in my room, but I don't feel in the mood to open them, let alone finish them. I don't feel in the mood to do anything. Isn't it sad to find that this 4 year-old blog is lately filled by anger, boredom, keluntang-lantungan..
I don't think I'm ready for the crowd and the mess and the noise.
Last night I bought myself a little pre-birthday present, a sharpie and a gingerman-shaped paper punch. It makes me happy, really. I love simple things when I do. Even seeing a ladybug can simply make my day. But sometimes I just turn into an ugly, grumpy, pathetic old witch who lives alone in the dark wood and hates everything. She hates crowds, she hates people. She prefers to live alone, but it doesn't mean that she loves it.
I worry a lot, I guess. But if there is a right time when I should be really, really worried, now is.
Weeks ago I read a book titled Suwidak Loro. I'm not sure whether it's a traditional tale or just a bedtime story someone made up. However, I like it. It tells about a terribly ugly little girl who lives with her single mother. Her name is Suwidak Loro, which means 52 in Bahasa Jawa, and the name is chosen because she owns 52 strands of hair only. The book includes the illustration of Suwidak Loro, and she is really, really ugly. I intend to write the retold story here, but, again, I'm not in the mood.
Another thing I want to post here is a game review. I was about to make a review of all the games I've ever played and my favorite weapons in each, but this time it's not about that. The game review I mentioned before is of Raka's favorite game which he plays everyday since my first day of holiday. I introduced the game to him and I'm happy he loves it. He's just getting smarter and smarter every second. Literally.
I guess I start to miss my school. Or college, or whatever you call it. NO, it's not the people. Note that! I miss the lectures. I miss to be taught something I haven't known. Oh, it reminds me of a random feeling came to me yesterday when I watched a movie. I'm not sure it was a regret or silly thought, but it said, why didn't you give yourself a shot to be a doctor? Iya, nggak tau kenapa mesti dokter.
Raka's home. He's crawling onto my lap.